War on the Subway
He was tall, this man on the train, and wearing a suit tie still tight around his neck when he boarded the 7 at Grand Central. He stood at first then settled and sat on my left. He leaned forward and looked at his phone. He watched a video drone footage three soldiers walking by a forest's edge. Where dusts clouds kick and those three soldiers fall. Then again, in slow motion. He flicked up, one swipe of a thumb, and moved on to watch a cat chasing its own tail.
Good poem.
I'd end the 3rd stanza after ...edge. And add the two following lines to the next stanza. Still makes sense in terms of semantic units and it would give you 4 quatrains, the uniformity of which suits the poem (same day every day...; also it'd look a bit like a train with those equally long wagons)
Ah I remeber you mentioning this. Very nice to see it transformed into a poem.