What is my wall? What is the thing that keeps me from writing? It’s less of a wall and more of a moat. It is an abyss. An emptiness like I will never know what to say. That whatever I do say it will never find an audience. It will float into the void and be forgotten in time.
I recently read a forgotten book. I call it that because there was only one review on Good Reads. No one had shelved it in years. Mine is the only review posted. The author was an academy award winning screenwriter. Famous in his own time but a name that none remember now. Most people would recognize the events of his life. The pivotal moment is regularly referenced in our culture to this day. And yet he is forgotten. How did this happen? I don’t know but it gives me a bit of relief. Here is someone that I would expect to have a legacy and yet it has withered. Will my writing ever have a moment? Will it have a moment and wither? Am I writing only for the void? Or will I be discovered after years of toil? The thing is it doesn’t matter. I can get past the wall when I realize I write only for myself. Maybe these tracks will be followed and maybe they will be erased. That is irrelevant. What matters is concentrating and exploring my own mind.