The last time I felt helpless was just today. I visited a friend in the hospital. There is no other way of putting it. He’s dying. One of the first things he said to me was, I thought I died. He repeated it a few times and I assured him he was still on this earth. I tried to tinge it with humor but I’m not sure it came across that way. I can still picture him in the hospital bed. Before today I only ever saw him with a clean shave. Now he had a few weeks of beard built up. I actually liked it on him. But it was the only good looking about him. It was all as you would expect. Oxygen tubes in the nose. Various wires connecting to monitors. The new ones they have look really sharp.
We spoke about nothing much. He was dipping in and out but seemed to come around for a good ten minutes. They served him his lunch. All of which he said “sucked.” He hadn’t changed in that respect. Always one to speak his mind.
The real helpless thing is there is simply nothing to do about the whole situation. The hospital is doing all it can. His friends will help him in anyway we can. It’s just not something human intervention can do anything about now. Where do I turn now? All I can say is if I am ever in that situation I hope there is someone who will take the time on a cold January day to come to my hospital bed and spend a few minutes talking about nothing. And when they leave I hope they tell me they love me.